blogxaustion...

I'm in the final 2 weeks of school which means finishing school projects, midterms, lining up an honors sponsor, selecting fall classes and about 20 other things. I'm exhausted. I feel a bit like a pinball at this point, bouncing from spot to spot only to be popped out again to hurry to the next spot. I try to sleep a lot when I have the chance but I'm still tired. I know this is temporary but spring is always the most difficult - the end of double semesters.

The upside is always summer holidays and plans but so far I haven't decided exactly what those look like so I can't say I'm looking forward to more than having time off. I am looking forward to the absence of pressure I guess.

One of the difficult things about this summer is that I have to put together my honors thesis experiment in a rush and then hope it gets approved over the summer and it might mean I have to go in to fix stuff. It's a bit unclear. I feel like a dork for not really comprehending how everything works - a lot of school feels a bit random to me even though I know it isn't. Next semester I also have to start paying attention to the GRE test and which grad schools might be good for me. AKKKK!!!!

Ask me in 3 weeks - a week of sleep is likely to change everything :)

writing

The best decision I made this semester was to include a writing class in my schedule. This has kept me actively writing new material and submitting DURING the semester instead of in the gaps. I'm pleased to have several new pieces emerging and more story ideas than I can write at the moment. I find it emotionally hard to go for long periods with writing creatively and for myself so this has been a good bridge.

I am also pleased that I took a nonfiction course because I often write nonfiction but seldom write nonfiction essays. In fact, I remain uncertain of the distinctions between writing types and at this point I think those distinctions don't matter at all - what everyone seems to want is a good story, be it fiction or factual. I am also reminded how strong I am at this end of the writing spectrum. I've done a huge amount of nonfiction article writing over the years and at this point I can tell that the work is in there.

I've also reached a new level in terms of how marketable I think my writing is becoming. So much of this world centers in self confidence and preventing personal sabotage. Sure, you need to work your skill sets to a nice, smooth place - but, there are a lot of really good writers in the world and what seems to propel one forward more than another is often centered in how the writer sees themselves. Confidence gets you to submit work and submit work and submit work. It fights against the negativity of certain rejection. Prevailing will eventually deliver sales and then name recognition will improve sales timing etc... But, right in the middle of all of that is the person who must find the inner wherewithal to endure. In addition to confidence or because of a type of confidence - the ability to get bloody, get real, get relevant also emerges. In a way it is a surrender and an empowerment at the same time. When the Emperor Wears New Clothes - he's naked.

conquering april...

I had a reading. It was my first this year and turned out pretty good. I dished more about it on my other blog. I wanted to mention it here because now there is a possibility I will be heading to Huntsville as a NASA guest to do promotional stuff for it. Cool. Now I need to raise some funds to cover expenses. Hmmm.

It's Monday and lovely and I'm feeling like writing and everything is good with the world. Sometimes I feel that it's important to acknowledge the mundane blessings of living. The semester is heading toward a wrap up and I'm liking that too - I hope I have enough funds for a simple summer but I know to be flexible and trust a bit too. My son is in a more helpful mood so together we should figure everything out. I'm currently stuffing all my extra pennies against my couple credit cards in order to shove my FICA score up - this is a good thing but yeowww the pinch pinches....

I'm thinking I'll try to snag some freelance over the summer or talk my big client into some work - basically I'm asking the universe to provide for the gap. So, "Hey Universe -- please send some cash my way -- much obliged!!!"

Oh, on another note - one of my housemates has a new sweetie called Shannon whom she calls a he but he is a she with excellent eyes and a good face - I'm watching said housemate process what may be a lifechanging shift for her. Interesting. :) My intuition is telling me they could end up 'really' together which might mean my housemate moves. I'm interested to see if I'm right on this one :)

the line of stuff...

My agenda for the day is too long. I have a midterm on Monday morning and everything wants to interrupt my studies. I have two persons coming to look at the room, my son has the yard full of yard sale, I came home to cat litter not cleaned and son's excuses and I have this list :(((

I hate doing things in the chop or cutting from one project to the next to the next - I always feel like I do a poor job at all of them and I don't end up feeling satisfied. I can't start the next thing till these people come in and out. ::sigh:: So, I'm a bit stuck with frustrated feelings for at least a little while more today.

On the up side my door is open and the birds in the water dept property next door are very happy and chirpy - they are certain summer is on us. I found a hole in a hose ::sigh:: and tons of cobwebs (new) - California is notorious for webs - we have very busy aracnids. Still, it's lovely out there and I really have minimal reasons for the complaints I'm offering.

Ding goes the bell - so, I'm off till later...