consistent negativity...

I have several different critique groups and individuals that collectively give me imput on my writing. Most of the time I feel a deep and powerful appreciation that anyone would take their time and energy to help me out. I really am touched.

However, I have one person whom I've noticed has been consistently giving me strongly negative critiques and that their recommendations would 'gut' whatever piece they are looking at. On the one hand, I know their capabilities on a grammar/sentence level are excellent, and they have the ability to write well technically. On the other hand their own fiction stories don't hold together enough for a single fiction sale. They do make a lot of nonfiction sales.

On my last crit request, from the moment I sent them the piece, I had to prevent myself from polishing the piece and sending it off without their imput. I had already received several useful crits and this was the holdout. My internal argument was that it was not honorable to pre-dispose myself to ignore their critique. Then, I received their critique - and it wanted to gut the story. Basically, I don't feel I can apply any of their advice.

What I need to do is tell them that their critiques are not working for me. I've tried to make sure here that I'm not trying to disregard solid advice just because it is negative. But, I've now reached a point where I don't trust their opinion, so, for no other reason than that, I have to stop asking them to spend their valuable time and insight on my work. This will hurt their feelings and that bothers me.

I don't want to look at what might be motivating this reaction to my work, on their part. I don't want to impose meaning or ideas that are likely to be just my imagining. At some point I have to trust my writerly instinct even on days when I'm not feeling so confident. I haven't been following their advice for more than two years and my work has been receiving a lot more attention and increasing sales. What I need to look at is why I might maintain a relationship so long after it was 'done' - and how I, as a writer, may have used this critic to sabotage myself.

I feel sad about it - but also a bit more free now that I've decided what I need to do to feel more in integrity with myself.