refinancing...

Some of you know that I'm currently grouting my front porch. Although it is looking nifty and part of the reason I'm working on it is to improve the appearance of my house, that really isn't the story.

I'm refinancing. I am a single woman and I've been blessed with my own home for most of my adult life but it isn't without struggle. I see the economic downturn and so many people trying to figure things out and I know what they are experiencing. About a decade ago my then boyfriend told my mother that I would have to get a job. He was rather gleeful about it because on some level he wanted to not HAVE to work. I had developed a frugal lifestyle that allowed me to just scrape by with almost nothing left (even for clothing) I moved away from the mainstream equation where success is measured in terms of what you are currently buying. For me, success was in having the time to pursue my dream of writing. So, I am not a consumer in the general sense of the word. I didn't buy anyone a Christmas present this year. I also didn't expect any. Buying a new pair of athletic shoes is a big deal for me because I wear them off my feet. I do have a weakness for home improvement and when I have extra cash I am most likely buying flooring or paint or trim or tools.

I also splurge on groceries - I try to buy quality foods so that my health is the best I can manage. Yes, I have health care but I detest doctors so this is my compromise. However, back to my last boyfriend. He is a really good man but he found it hard to live with me precisely because of my failure to consume. When we first met I paid off his debts and although he liked it, he had trouble dealing with it. He was coming from a position of being 'in the hole' emotionally and once no longer there, he had trouble dealing with himself but that is another story.

What I wanted to talk about was the problems I faced when I went back to a one person household. Because we had been in a relationship a long time I had purchased a larger house and once again had a mortgage - this one now exceeded my passive income. When I say my boyfriend was gleeful - it is the simple truth. However, because he wanted other things we had also purchased and held title to, he agreed to continue to help pay over a 3 year period and he got those items clear (a good deal) - this gave me time to adjust my income.

It may sound silly but I went to a manifestation group. The mantra behind the group was to intentionally position a desire in the cosmos. My mantra was simply, "I am open to receiving abundance" - I didn't want to be totally specific - really, I wanted to open myself to possible solutions to my problem - I didn't want to HAVE to go to work and give up my time for writing.

As I mentioned, at that point I was living in a 4 bedroom house - by myself. Silly. But, until that point I had bought into the 'needing independence' concept of every family a separate house. I facilitated some workshops and did some lecturing to bring in a little income and continued to ghost write for psychologists but it was very piece meal and I felt uneasy.

So, I confronted my need for my OWN home. I began taking in housemates. This was an adventure and let me assure you that my learning curve was substantial. But, I had several things going for me - high housing costs in my area and a large home (2500 sq ft) My bedroom sizes are decent and I have amenities as well (like a hottub) As I learned ABOUT people I discovered that my master suite was actually fairly large - I could manage my privacy in there. I also discovered that I needed to impose my standard of living (no clutter) on the common spaces and use my furniture. This became much easier both on me and on my housemates. This is a home and it is organized that way - for everyone - there is room to sprawl, to share or to be private.

As I discovered I could live with people around me I came to enjoy it. My house is always busy yet it is like a big family. I am picky about housemates and two of mine have lived here more than 7 years now. My point is that solving my financial problems required some creativity.

I work a little bit - a few years ago I went back to school full-time and now I'm a Junior at Berkeley. Every few years I try to refinance if interest rates go down. Right now they are very cheap so I am trying to save myself $700 per month just by refinancing. I am still frugal. I am repairing my porch because I had a water problem that rotted out a section and then the steps settled and to join the two pieces together I needed one material (slate) -

The thing is - our solutions depend on creativity too. We can't afford to have 3 empty bedrooms in our homes and think nothing of it. I have been so very lucky and I know that, but I also work hard at buying nothing extra. I can't afford it and my dreams too.