putting out fires...

Today I've felt like a walking fire hose, soaking random people who approach me with their problems. I don't exactly put out fires but I sure like getting them wet.

Some people make themselves natural targets to hear the woes of the world. Jobs like bartending and hair cutting are rife with closeted therapists who nod and pretend to listen to all the shenanigans of their clients. Other people just have the right kind of face or they are far too polite and actually LISTEN to people which instantly makes them the victims of 'woe dumpers' - now, I'm not saying we all shouldn't be friendly and helpful and all that - but, quite frankly, I don't really want to know the excrutiating details of who said what to whom and how you felt about it. Really, I like you but NO, I DON'T CARE THAT MUCH!!!

I'm a FIX oriented person. If you start in on X - I will want to immediately know what you are doing to SOLVE it, not analyze it. Move on. Move on. GAH - the thing is, very, very few people are actually looking for advice - they are looking for a nice clean spot to poop out their stuff so they can share the aroma of it. They don't actually TAKE or DO any of the advice. It is all about sharing their feelings. Pfft! I'm not all that chummy with my own feelings so what makes you think I want to borrow yours too?

Shared feelings always feel NONconsensual to me. Courtesy demands I listen to you, that I sit politely by so you can express fully. I'm held there by shared cultural expectations of decent behavior. Ukkk.

I am perfectly okay sharing your feelings - for a price. I charge a very reasonable $150 per hour for regular drivel and about $450 per hour for seriously whiny and stupid drivel. I promise not to recommend anything which might relieve you of your wallowing in indulgent misery. Yes, I can plot my next story while appearing to listen to you - nodding when appropriate. Cheap really. No strings attached.